Fish Ladder Park

I had such an adventurous and exciting day planned for Emily and Julian. We were going to go to Fish Ladder Park and check out the fish, then start walking the path towards other sights. It was a nice if not hot day out. Of course nothing ever turns out as planned. One regrettable incident can ruin a whole day.

Already lost his shoe

When we got there I picked Julian up first to look into the water. I kind of swung him up and his shoe went flying. Right into the water. His absolute favorite shoe that he like wearing more than any other. Flying into the water never to be seen again. His Diego Shoes that his father has already been searching for, for weeks in a larger size because Julian loves them so much.

I could not feel worse if I smacked him or yelled at him for something he did not do. The whole day felt ruined  to me. I searched in vain for the shoe. As if I might see it in this rapids like water and be able to somehow fish it out. With the recent rains the fish ladder park was a heavy flowing rapids leading to the second disappointment  I had no fish to show off to the kids and see their excited amazement.

I would not let this trip be a bust. With only one shoe obviously we could not do much walking. They were real troopers though. Despite Julian reminding me every ten seconds- you pick me up and my shoe fall in the water, Diego in the water- he was okay about it. We stayed by the water and hung out a little, then we headed out. I got them a slushie at Miejer and now I have to scour the internet for little brown Diego shoes so my son doesn't have to feel bad that his mom threw his favorite shoe in the river.

Co parenting

Co parenting is so hard. Raising children in two households with different rules and ideals in each home can be hard. Although it is difficult, it gets easier as time goes by.

For most of the first three years of Emily and Julian's life they did not know anything about their father John. I disliked him more than anybody I had ever disliked and the feeling was mutual. He made little effort to see the kids. He wanted to see them on his terms or not at all so not at all it was. I wasn't a big fan of his and so I was content with not at all although I was pretty vocal with complaining about him never seeing the kids. I lived in Massachusetts and he lived in Michigan.

When the kids were three I moved to Michigan for a few reasons but the biggest was my aunt and uncle lived there and they had always been pretty supportive of me and the kids. I was not doing well and I needed some stability and so did the kids. Also John was in Michigan and so maybe he could be a part of the kids life.

When we fist got to Michigan their was still tension between John and I. He still wanted the kids on his terms and I still did not want to meet his terms. I was very protective of Emily and Julian. John wanted to jump right into full weekends. I wanted him to visit them in a familiar environment at first for several months. Since neither of us could come up with an agreement John stopped seeing the kids. Finally we went to court. The courts decided that the kids would see him in a familiar environment for a couple weeks and then every other weekend. I was sad that I would finally have to share the kids but the pressure was off of me for having to deal with visitation. It was out of my hands and I was relieved.

The tension between John and I was still very high. He did not want to hear anything I had to say about the kids and what they liked or didn't like what scared them what worked, anything. I did not want the kids to like him. I never bad mouthed him to Emily and Julian and I never tried to make them dislike him but I am sure that the tension between us was obvious. The kids would cry and scream for me when they came, they sure did not want to go. They were happy when they got home but still very happy to see me. I felt so loved, but I felt so sad every other weekend when they left, seeing them cry and and scared as they drove away. I started to tell them how much their Daddy loved them and how much he missed them. We would Skype once in a while. John and I started talking a little when we exchanged the kids. Nothing much just how they were during the weekend, stuff they did or were going to do.

Now I look forward to the off weekends. I enjoy a little freedom, I enjoy chatting with John when we meet up. We call each other for whatever and talk and joke an laugh. John has been asking me to get Emily her first haircut because her hair has become a bit unmanageable  (I asked him not to do it, I wanted a special thing with Emily) and while I was writing this he called me just to ask if I had done it yet. I told him I had not and he told me that for some reason her hair seems so much more manageable next weekend. I told him I had been brushing it more times each day and maybe that is why. That was pretty much the extent of the conversation other than the kids are doing good. A couple weeks ago I had a really bad nightmare about a fictional dream child of mine dying. It was awful and it made me so sad. That morning I called John and told him I had a terrible dream and could I say hi to the kids. He offered to have them Skype with me. I got to see them talk to them and it really made me feel better afterwards.

Do I like John now? Yes I do, I think I am blessed to have him for the father of my children. We have had to get through a lot of obstacles but we made it. My kids will have all the love of a mother and a father. I never understood why parents would try to turn their children against the other parent. I never tried to my self although I may have done so unintentionally. Soon after my kids were seeing their father full weekends every other week I saw the pain it brought them, the fear and sorrow of leaving me to go to him. I started telling them Daddy loves you, Daddy misses you. This past Friday when we met up they ran into his arms yelling DADDY! It made me so happy (a little Jealous, they don't do that when they see me :-) but I am old new)

I do not know what the future brings and I am sure that there will be more disagreements between John and I but I really believe we have come to a good place. I even think I love him again. I do not love him as a lover or potential mate but as the man who helped produce my family, the man who loves my children as much as me, as much as only a parent can. I am going to give my children the best gift available, a good relationship with their father.

I never know how to end what I am writing but I will end it with this. I wish every parent tried to be selfless and let their child love their other parent. If the other parent is no good the child will find out on their own and if the other parent is not than the child will get to grow up with two good parents and what is better than that?

Trip to the library

I love to take my kids to the library. When I was a child the library was one of my favorite places to be. All different kinds of books about all different things. Now adays the library still has that and I want my kids to feel it. There is also a little corner with some comfy chairs and kids puzzles and such. So I can relax with a book while the kids get to play in a different place than home.
At the library downtown there is free parking for up to an hour, then they start charging. Getting into the library is a chore with two three year olds. We park and the kids tumble out of the car. Since they have to inspect everything from the car to the door it take awhile to get inside. Finally we get to the door and when we first get inside, we enter the lobby which has high echoing ceilings, so the kids want to yell and run. Getting through the lobby is a test in patients, one I do not always pass. Finally we get to the stairs and thankfully it is only one floor up. Unfortunately there is a bathroom at the top and my kids have to use every bathroom the see. Finally we get to the last leg. Just have to walk to the back where the puzzles are. That means walking past a glass case with toys inside which has to be inspected, past computers that have to be played with, and yet another set of bathrooms. Finally fifteen to twenty minutes after parking we get to sit and relax. Normally this walk would take me about 3-5 minutes.
Since I plan 15 minutes to get out of parking that means only about 25-30 minutes of library time. Usually enough for some good puzzle time and to pick out some books to take home. Despite the effort it takes I still love taking them. On days that I don't have the energy for all that, there is a smaller library closer by. There is no puzzles but the kids still like grabbing a book and sitting at the kid table for a good read.
I hope bringing them to the library so young will really develop a love for the library. Somewhere they can go for entertainment or just to get away.

Waking up

When I wake up with a beautiful little girl voice telling me time to get up, I can not really be to unhappy to get up. I do not like getting up early, but Emily does. So she comes in my room, and climbs into my bed. She curls her little body into mine and we snuggle for about half an hour. This is her time to wake up and my time to get ready for the inevitable -time to get up mommy-. Its funny when it is the child telling the parent time to get up, but I truely love it. The time is short and before long it will be me telling her to get up and she will probably not appreciate it as much as I do. So I enjoy the cuddles and let her get me up for now.

Blandford Nature Center

We went to the Blandford nature center which is a really mice wooded area with different walking paths throughout. There is one path that is very small and easy to walk. There are different animals along the path, mostly birds. There was a bobcat that my kids had no interest in. After we walked that path I thought it would be nice to try a longer path through the "Jungle" as Julian kept calling it. There was a path that led to a fenced play center with nature fun.


 I thought I would take a few moments with each child and take some pictures, play and learn. I started with Julian while Emily went to dig in some sand. She loves sand. Give her some sand, a shovel and something to fill and she is good. So while Emily was digging Julian the

 physical little boy that he is, first tried walking across the logs. When they got a little taller I had to put the camera down and help him.

 Next at my encouragement Julian tried the balance beam. He fell off the first time but then insisted he get to try again. So he persisted...

./ 

 and off he went and walked a good length of it without even falling. I have to say I was impressed. I am not sure if that is impressive but seeing my son balance across a beam on his second time, on a beam that I even felt wobbly on... yea pretty good!

I decided it was time to join Emily. Still digging away in the sand I thought to encourage her to try another activity.

 She had no interest in another activity

Just wanted to play in the sand

 I saw Julian in this little hut and called Emily over to join us. She had no interest. I figured I would have plenty more walking to take pictures of her but next moment she started screaming. I ran over to her and she was in panic mode over some bug that had crawled on her. While I was comforting her Julian started screaming, in a panic about some bug who had bitten him. At this time they both insisted we leave and I did not have the heart to refuse them. When we got into the very hot car they both insisted that I keep

their windows up so no bugs would jump in and attack them. It was so hot in the car and still they wanted their windows closed.

 I think we will try the Blandford Nature Center again, just might have to apply some bug spray and keep out of the play area. Keep them walking and distracted.

They still seemed pretty happy when we got home and I guess that is the most important thing.

    

Making Pizza

Now that Emily and Julian are getting a little bigger I thought it might be fun to have a pizza night. They both already try to help me out in the Kitchen much to my agitation. It is not that I do not want to show them new things, it is that two sets of three year old hands in a kitchen is very distressful to me. Those hands around a hot stove, food flying everywhere, sharp utensils in reach; it is all too much for me. Making pizza would be a lot easier.

After I had everything divided into two sets at the table I called Emily and Julian and told them they were going to make their very own pizzas. They were so excited!

When I divided all the ingredients I just split each thing in two. So each cup of sauce had way more than was actually needed. Julian of course did not know this and tried to spoon all of the sauce in the cup onto his dough. It was quite a lot. I helped him put some back and then showed him how to spread it around to cover the dough. Emily really did not need help here. She scooped some out and spread it on the dough pretty much on her own. 

When it came to the pepperoni Emily got very upset that she could not open another package of pepperoni. I made her use the pepperoni on the plate and after she got over the little let down she enthusiastically decorated her pie. 

 When it came to the cheese both Emily and Julian tried to just eat the cheese. Once I began putting cheese on my pizza they soon followed. At this age they are so eager to get it right and follow Mommy while doing it themselves  I will definitely miss that later in life. 

Once they were done putting everything on the Pizzas they carried them over to the waiting oven so that Mommy could put them in. While the Pizzas cooked they helped Mommy take all the leftover fixings off of the table put them away.

Pretty soon hot yummy Pizzas came out and we all sat down to eat. 

It was a fun experience, one I think I am going to incorporate into the regular menu. I too often forget how happy  it makes them to help me out and how short the time will be to really have this wondrous joy in my home. Making them happy is so simple and some activities like this are so easy to put together and mean so much to them. 

It was a lot of fun, next time I think I will offer them more choices for toppings. More color, green and yellow peppers, black olives, and maybe some mini sausages or meatballs. Really open the experience up for them. 

Outside over inside

Over the last few months I have been taking classes on line. I am trying to get a college degree in accounting. Since childcare for two is a bit more than I can afford I have to take classes on line for now. So because the last few weeks I have been pretty wrapped up in classes and the fact that is has been cold out for awhile now I guess the amount of screen time for my kids has increased a little. So finally this week I have been trying to get my kids out and doing things. Today we went to a park and the proof that my kids have been inside too much was clear. After about twenty minutes they both wanted to go home and Emily even kept talking about how much she wanted to go watch cartoons. I couldn't believe she would rather watch cartoons than play at the park. Needless to say we stayed at the park and my kids did not get any screen time today. It was so nice out and it felt really good to be out.

 
I am not against TV  honestly I enjoy it and so I am not going to stop my kids from enjoying it. Outside is better though for them and I want them to enjoy being outside. I let my kids each pick out one episode of cartoons to watch while I prepare dinner. I enjoy some peace and they get some down time before dinner.





Hopefully this summer will be a reminder to them of how much better outside is than inside. I am trying to discover new places in and around Grand Rapids that are fun and interesting for them and for me.

Finally done with classes... Welcome home summer you were missed!

Eighty degree weather today and my kids are stuck inside. Today is not a proud mama day. I forgot an assignment for one of my classes that was due about two weeks ago. Totally forgot the assignment somehow and this is a big one. This one is worth twice as much as the final and I totally blew it. I realized this Monday night, emailed the professor Tuesday morning. I asked him to give me a wf which is basically a withdraw/fail. Either way without the assignment I would be failing but with a wf at least my GPA does not plunge. The professor emails me back about an hour later and tells me to have the paper in by 9 pm tomorrow (today). I can say I was shocked. I did not even consider this kindness. So I have been working since yesterday afternoon on this paper and then I had to still take the final. So this beautiful day my poor kids are stuck inside all day. I am done now and I have all summer to make it up to them. And make it up to them I will. I have all kids of plans prepared for them from parks and hiking trails to days at the zoo and at the lake. I am very excited to spend the summer with my kids and not have any more classes or school!