Being a single mother is hard

Well I am back. I took a little break as my status was up in the air. I am now a proud apartment renter. I have a small two bedroom and I can say that I am now able to fully take care of my children. I have to say though being a single mother is hard. It is not hard in the ways I thought it would be when the father of my children first decided he "just had to be alone for now". It is hard in the small ways. The three a.m. feedings were not really hard. Not like I thought they would be. I was tired and it took extra effort to get my butt out of bed and get those bottles made but I did it and that was that. Constantly changing diapers were not fun but definitely not hard. Doing laundry all the time is not hard. It is annoying but whatever. The hardest thing for me is going to get milk or food or anything that requires leaving the house. What do I go through just to go two minutes up the road for milk.



Well I feed my kids, change them, make sure they are dressed in clean clothes.That takes about 45 minutes. Then I get their car seats out of their room and get them ready to go. I put little jackets on them and mittens since it is winter. I then snug them up with a blanket. I make sure they have pacifiers in their mouth so they will be happy. I strap them in. I put on my own jacket. I then take them out my door, lock up and head down stairs. I take one down to the second floor, then I go get the other one from the third floor and take that one to the first floor, then I go get the other one from the second floor, go down to the first floor grab the other one and head out to the car. I put them in the car and I am off. Why go through all that and not just carry them both down together? Well falling down the stairs two times with the babies in hand has taught me that I can not do that.

So now I am off and I get to the store. If I am getting just a few things than I can manage to stuff those underneath the baby carriage. If on the other hand I am doing some real shopping I have to push the shopping cart with one hand and pull the baby carriage with the other. So I get whatever it is then I am headed home. I get home and I ask myself how am I supposed to get everything upstairs. Here is how. I take the babies inside the hall first floor. Go grab my bags. Luckily I park right in front of my door. So I have all this. I start carrying babies and bags upstairs. One baby at a time and then how ever many trips for the bags. I finally get it all in my apartment. By that time the babies are hungry again. So I take the babies out of their seat, take their jackets and mittens off, put them in swings, go make bottles, and then feed either one at a time or if they are too frantic prop one up with a bottle and feed the other. Then I put away whatever I bought.

So sometimes when I have no milk, or nothing to eat I ask myself... is it really worth it. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. I try to get out once everyday. If I am already planning to get out it is not so bad. But if I forget something while I am out than I do not get it.


aaahhhhhhh I am tired now. Now I need a nap