Grocery shopping

Grocery shopping has never been an activity I enjoyed. Now with twins it is a chore. I do not really mind though. I do not go out too often and grocery shopping is something I have to do. The people at my local grocery store have begun to recognize me, the one pushing a shopping cart and either pulling another shopping cart or a baby stroller.

I go from isle to isle getting things for the week to eat. The babies either sleep or look around while we go through the store. It is very freeing to be single and grocery shopping. In the past I have had people I have lived with deciding what needs to be bought and what does not. Now I get to decide. So yea I do get pre-cut fruit, organic yogurt, and the "good juice". I still get the generic jam and bread. But now if I feel like getting an ice cream I get one.

The babies like to be out and about. Emily especially likes it when we are stopped so someone can ooh and aww over her. She get so coy and pretends to be shy but really she's like, more more. I admit in my eyes they are the most beautiful creations. I want to show them off. To the world if I could. I feel like they have the ability to make everyone's life better. Is that how all first time mothers feel about their children I wonder. I know that how I feel about them is exaggerated to what is reality.

Now that my ex took back the car he bought me over a year ago I walk there and take a taxi home. Unless it is cold or wet out. It is a nice walk. When the sun is out and the air feels good, sometimes if the wind is blowing right I can smell the salt of the sea as I walk. I can close my eyes and I feel like I am home again. Taking a taxi is nice too. I mean having someone drive me here and there. Meeting new people. There is one person who I have gotten to know and I really like when that person shows up. It can be a weird situation also. Like the guy who came and as soon as I opened the door the overwhelming smell of pot came out, or the guy who came and had one of his doors broken, or the guy who came and I could not figure out if it was a man or woman for the first half of the ride. All these people have been so friendly. I have not met a bad one yet as far as personality's go.

All in all it can be fun and luckily I can go whenever I want to so I can pick a nice day or a day I feel particularly energetic. If nothing else it is a chance to get out and see people.

Finally my baby girl stands!

Julian was eager to get up and about from an early age. He wanted to sit up so early. He was always stiff. Before I knew it he was standing, with assistance of course. Now he is sitting on his own. For a few seconds at least until he falls over.

Emily on the other hand has always been so content being limp. She barely wanted to sit up. Don't get me wrong, she is my little cuddle bug. She lays with me and is like my little worm. I admit though that her not stiffening made me a little worried. So I am always trying to get her to stand. I hold her up and put her feet on the ground and let a little bit of her weight go at a time. Eventually limp she would go. Not today though. Today my little girl stood proud. And boy did she have a smile on her face while doing it. Maybe that was because of mommy cheering so much, but I think it was because she was so proud of herself.

The sweetness of being a mother

Well my babies are finally active. I mean they were rolling over here and there before. But now I put them on their play mat and before I know it they are across the room. There is no keeping Emily on her back either. I put her down and she is over. Tonight for the first time I put her in her crib and she rolled over to her belly. She kept crying for me to come get her. I went in the first time and saw her peeking over her bumper. As soon as I walked over to her she rolled over to her back and giggled. That made me laugh. So I left her there and went back to what I was doing. Next thing I know she is crying on her stomach peeking over the bumper. Eventually she went to sleep but it is so funny to see her laying there peeking.





Sometimes when I have many things to do I will put each of the babies in a seat. I have a bouncy seat, and a little plastic bebepod seat (which by the way is an awesome way to have your baby sit up when they can not yet do it themselves) Julian now can almost crawl out of it, I think that is what he is doing anyways. He gets his body out of it and will be leaning like laying across it or leaning so his head is touching the floor while still strapped in. It is so weird its funny. Because of that I do not put him in his bouncy seat anymore.



I am also trying to get the babies to interact with each other more. They seem to really enjoy each other and seem really able to relate to each other. When I out them face to face they start giggling, giggling more than any other time. Of course when one cries the other cries. This does not happen all the time, but sometimes if one is crying to loudly and I do not immediately stop the crying the other one starts right up. When ever Emily's face is in arms reach of Julian and she has a pacifier he goes right for it. It is so funny and so predictable. Realistically it looks like a magnet. As soon as she is close enough there goes his arm right to her face.


Really the thing is, is that I am a first time mother. It is the small things that really get to me. A look from Julian, a smile from Emily, the way Julian always wants to touch my face with both hands in an almost reassuring way, the way that Emily will laugh sometimes from something as simple as me whispering "I love you" in her ear.

I am willing to do anything for my children. I gave up smoking, I finally realized who the man I thought I loved was, I am willing to go the roughest time right now knowing it will better for the three of us when it is all done. I moved to the east coast the last place I want to live, many more things, yet I go to bed ever night with a smile on my face and contentment in my heart. I feel good everyday. I feel love, a love I never had before, a love I never could imagine. I know I getting sappy but hey... I am a new mother... of twins!

Can you tell my babies apart?
You have a 50% chance of getting it.