Well the babies had their first Thanksgiving. All in all it was alright. We went to my sisters boyfriends (Keith) mothers house. My mother was there as well. Keiths family was really nice. He had his brothers and their family as well as his mother and her boyfriend.
My mother with Emily and Julian I for got to bring them some formula so thankfully one of the brothers of Keith bought some for me. The dinner was a good one for Thanksgiving. I was not really in the mood. I do not generally celebrate holidays. I am trying to now for the babies. I left a little early as it was a really long drive. It felt good to get into bed and spend some alone time with the babies. After all they are what I am thankful for.
What are you thankful for?
I have the two sweetest babies. My little Emily full of smiles and my getting bigger Julian so full of concern. I have loved them since the second I saw them... before that even. I decided to stay with my sister in Massachusetts temporary. I will be going into a homeless shelter soon. I have felt so empty and so scattered lately. I have thought about why this is and I came to the conclusion that this is because I have no home. I have a place to stay here, a place to stay there, but no home. No where I can feel like I am finally home. No where I can say okay I am going home now and then I go home. I have felt this immense sadness and a longing to go home. Unfortunately that is not going to happen right now. So I am staying with my sister, then my cousin, then a friend through the holidays then it is off to the homeless shelter. I am hoping to one day have a hoe somewhere so that my children never feel the way I have felt so many times. My children are so precious and so innocent. So if you are reading this keep your fingers crossed for us. I know that tomorrow will be better than today. I know someday I will be going home.
