Time with family

Emily on her forst road trip

Well I decided it had been long enough without my mother and sister meeting my little ones. I have never been able to stay still very long. I have been having a rough time as far s the six weeks blues, being a single mother, and my ex being... well they way he is. So I decided to go to Massachusetts. It is normally about a 14 hour drive. It took me close to 18 hours. They babies did great. They love to be in the car anyway. I would drive for a few hours then stop at a rest stop or a fast food place. I would take the babies out and lay them out on a table on a blanket. It gave them a chance to stretch, eat and get a break.

Julian on his first road trip

Finally dead tired we got to their Grandma's home. I took them up to her place and let her take over. She had a nice hot pizza for me and I enjoyed that as she enjoyed feeding and changing her grand babies for the first time. I was so tired I just relaxed and let her take over. She did a great job. I love having Grandma around or as she prefers it Nana. She started off a little nervous I am sure because they are still so small. Julian barely nine pounds and Emily barely eight. I spent the night at her house and she even fed them in the middle of the night and in the early am. I was so relieved. I have been up for almost 30 hours and I was beat.

Nana Feeding Julian

Well my sister agreed to come pick up our mother so she could spend the day at our sisters house. It was a big step for my sister and I am glad we all got together. We started off the day going to Target where we had lunch and then we went to The Childrens Place to look at baby clothes. My mother got her grandchildren some new winter outfits that were just adorable.

Heather taking photos of Julian and Emily

Over the last couple days t has been wonderful getting to spend time with my sister and my little niece Hannah. She is just over a year old now. She is walking with help and full of pretty smiles. She is just darling and she loves her little cousins. She come over to them and wants to pet their heads. She gets a bit excited though and starts to hit them in the head. Then Heather tells her no so not do that and she freaks out and it is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. Heather is a great mother though and I really like the fact that she set boundarys with Hannah and the twins. It is so funny though.

Hannah with Julian

Being with my twins

Well now my babies are just over 8 weeks old. They have been my whole worl from their first breath. Because they were 6 weeks early and a little underweight they had to stay in the NICU for a bit. Julian was 5 lbs 4 oz and Emily was 4lbs 9 oz. I would go see them all the time learning how to feed, burp, and change them. Emily was in the NICU for about a week and a half and Julian for about two weeks. It was great because I has lots of nurses there to help me get used to taking care of babies and get to know different techniques on how to make a baby happy.
Feeding Emily

Well I got to take Emily home first. Emily caught on to the whole eating thing a bit quicker than Julian, so they released her from the hospital first. This was good because I got the chance to take care of one and get into the hang of being a mommy before I had them both. THe hard part was leaving my baby boy all alone in the hospital. I felt so much guilt. Guilt about only being able to go see Julian once a day, gulit about leaving Emily when she had just come home to go see Julian. Once a baby is released they are not allowed to come back to visit because of the germs they may have picked up outside. Very shortly Julian caught on and he came home too. I think he could tell mommy was getting stressed and felt bad...J/K

Julian with his feeding tube

Finally I had both my babies home and life did change. I was feeding them every 3 hours 24 hours a day. It took almost an hour to feed them, so I only had two hours of free time before I had to feed them again. Thankfully it was new to me so it was still exciting and it took a while to get hard for me. My Aunt Mary helped me a lot with feedings. She did an early am one for me almost everyday and sometimes helped me to feed one while I fed the other during the day. It was a struggle getting everything I needed for the babies. Luckily they have plenty of aunts and uncles and grandparents to help out. JM's brothers have gotten great things for the babies. His brother Bob has supplied the babies with many diapers, his brother Joseph got a beautiful swing that the babies both love so much. In fact so much that sometimes I am switching them back and forth in it as they fuss. Grandma Judy and many others have sent clothes, and other things. Grandma Terri has sent clothes and many other things, my own dear sister sent items I needed. There are many others... too many to mention. So with the support of family my children have had some real advantages.

Emily in the swing from Uncle Joseph

Well nowadays I have a pair that are well aware of this world. They are looking around and checking things out. They are working on smiling right now. Julian is my little fuss bucket. Emily is starting to use her voice probably because she sees how mommy comes running to Julian every time he screams. I am now looking into mobiles for the babies. They love music so I am probably going to get them one that has music and lights. I want to give the world to my babies. I will probably not be able to but I am sure going to try my best. I am a SUMOT and I am fine with that.

Having twins... the labor

I knew my water was going to break, or at least I knew I was going to have the babies soon. I am a night owl so I had been up playing on my computer when around two in the morning on September the 8th I decided to go to sleep. I turned off my light and lay down. I had been laying down for about five minutes when I felt a lot of something wet in the bed. I ran to the bathroom thinking I had finally done what so many people said pregnant women do... wet myself. I did not even feel a need to go to the bathroom. I sat there for a few minutes not sure what to do. Finally everything slowed down a bit and I came to the conclusion that my water broke. I went online to research it just to make sure. According to my research my water had broke but still I was not sure. I did not know who I could ask at two thirty in the morning. My mom! Its okay to wake your mother any time for something like that.

So after talking to my mother and her telling me yea I had better call my doctor and then calling my doctor I figured out my water had in fact broke. My aunt was going back for the first day of school as a computer teacher in a few short hours so I seriously contemplated just driving to the hospital myself. Well I finally woke my aunt up and let her know my water broke and did she want to drive me. Well my aunt got up and got dressed and then got her things together and long story short we finally got to the hospital at about four.

Well almost as soon as we got there I got into a bed and they hooked me up to the different machines.
Here I am during my "contractions"
They were checking me out and seeing how things were going. One of the nurses asked me about my contractions how they were, and how much I was feeling them. I told her I did not think they had started yet. The other nurse said "Well actually you are having one right now" to that I said "well then they are going great" They told me I was already 5 centimeters dilated and all of a sudden they all started moving a bit quicker.

They told me my baby boy was breach and we would be going with C section. They put in the IV and boy let me tell you that hurt. I was scared about getting a spinal because I heard they really hurt. My aunt Sue told me by the time I was able to get a spinal I would be in so much pain I would not notice. Well she was so wrong about that. The worst thing so far was the IV! Thanks Aunt Sue lol. I kept telling the doctor how scared I was about the spinal.

Well they got me into the O.R. and the man who was to give me the spinal came in. They had me sit up and the doctor (sweetest woman) held my hand and rubbed my shoulder while the man put some numbing on me before the spinal. Then he did it. It hurt alright, pretty bad. In fact it was probably the worst part of the whole labor. But I got through it. Within about 30 seconds I could not feel anything below my chest. It was the best feeling ever! It was so relaxing, I felt so chill. They started doing whatever they do I felt some slight pressure like getting jerked a bit. In about 15 minutes out comes my sweet Julian. A minute later came Emily. Wrapping up Emily

They did whatever they do with babies when they are born. I was so out of it. Because I had the IV I could not move my arms. So they brought my babies over and I gave them a kiss and they were off. It took another forty five minutes for them to put me back together and all.
Printing Julian

So that is how I had twins. It was great I honestly wish I could do it all over again. Between the feelings I had the first time I saw my babies and the awesome drugs I got and seeing my babies for the first time and how loving JM was it was great. I know I mentioned seeing the babies twice, there were two of them and it was that special.
After the labor
Holding the babies for the first time

Having twins...being pregnant

When I found out I was pregnant I was overjoyed.


I had been living in San Diego for several years when I met John. I was overcoming a tradgedy and he was there for me. After a very special night together I found out I was pregnant. It was not meant to be for John and I. He could not be in a relationship and I could not make him. I give him credit though because he helped me to get out of an abusive relationship with an alcoholic, something I would never have done otherwise.

Well I had an aunt in Michigan and my sister in Massachusetts. I went back and forth about where to go... I had no where else to go. I sure did not want to leave my precious San Diego but I had little choice at the time. I finally decided to move in with my aunt. I finished up my pregnancy emotionally scarred but physically I was good.


I never had any problems with my pregnancy. So easy no pain, except the last week I started to feel a little like okay lets get this going. My hips hurt when I slept on my sides, I felt like I could not breath when I lay on my back, and for obvious reasons I could not sleep on my stomach. Well with 6 weeks to go my water broke...

My first blog

This is my first blog ever. I am going to make this a short one. I am writing about my beautiful baby twins Julian ad Emily. They are 8 weeks and 3 days old. They are my pride and joy, more about that later. I am a 27 year old single mother. These are my first and possibly last children. I have my son, I have my daughter what else do I need.