Time moves on

This past week or so I have really been thinking about how time moves so fast. My little ones are about a year and a half old now. That may not seem like a lot of time but to me it feels so long. I have recently come across some short videos of my babies when they were a mere couple of months old and boy do I miss them. I love my kids but I miss my babies so much. I miss being able to hold them for as long as I like, I miss being able to put them down and knowing they weren't going anywhere and better yet they weren't going to get into anything. I miss being able to sooth them in 10 seconds or less no matter what the problem. I miss their only needing to drink their meals. I realize there are so many rewards and joy with the babies I have now but knowing I will never again see my newborn son and daughter again makes me a little sad.

Craziness of morning

I am not a morning person. I never have been. I left high school because of it (luckily I later got my diploma) I had one job where I worked in the morning and I didn't last too long. So I worked at night. When I went to school it was all afternoon classes. I never got up before 10... okay 11. Except on the rare occasion.

Well now I have two 1 year olds. Goodbye wonderful rest. Goodbye late mornings and even better than that late nights. I still talk to my wonderful ex (pre pregnancy ex) and he was the one I had the fun with. He goes out, he has fun, we play a little xbox live and I am telling him around 10 I've got to start wrapping it up. Maybe to some that seems late. Well he still goes to sleep the same time we used to go to sleep. 2-3 am. I miss it I tell you.

I would never trade it though. I have to get up between 7 and 8 every morning (yes I know I'm lucky, I guess they take after me) but its worth it. I've never had someone who wants to hug me every morning without fail. I've never had someone who is excited to see me everyday no matter what. I walk in their room feeling so tired, wishing it was nap time already and what do I see? Emily and Julian laughing and jumping in their cribs. I pick one of them up and get the most wonderful hug. I change them and they are so happy. Then I get to do it again.

Maybe the mornings are the hardest part of the day for me to start, but they certainly are worth it.

Sleeping babies

I love my babies. I love them so much that the fear of something happening to them while they are away from me is overwhelming. The only time they spend any real time away from me is while they are sleeping. I realize at 17 months they are pretty safe sleeping. It still scares me though. I still check on them multiple times at night. I still rush to their room at the first cough, the tiniest cry, or any other noise that I feel shouldn't be there. One day maybe I'll get over it, but for tonight I will watch my sleeping angels in their most peaceful moments.